Open Letter to Casey Choi

Dear Casey Choi, Candidate for Hawaii State Senate District 11: You don’t know me, but you wave at me twice a day. I don’t wave back, and feel a little bad, so I thought I’d tell you why.

I represent a small constituent group of little strategic value, but one that still reliably votes (even on the day of the big game). Specifically, I represent Husbands Who are Pedestrians, Former Bicyclists, Push Strollers (and are married to Other Stroller Pushers who are Friends of fellow Stroller Pushers), and Respect Private Property — the Hawaii Chapter of HWPFBPSOSPFSPRPP for short.

I do not often vote for someone who trespasses onto private property to stick campaign literature on my car or that of my neighbors. More importantly, I will not vote for someone who reliably stands on a busy residential street corner with a huge-ass sign, accompanied by other huge-ass sign holders, blocking ramps — thereby forcing pedestrians, bikers, and strollers off curbs and into the streets — and making it impossible for drivers to see oncoming traffic. The fact that I have to turn wide to keep from running over your goofy smile as you lean even further out to get my attention doesn’t help your cause.

Oh, and by the way, you probably know this, being a visitor-industry player and all, but the facility for which you were a regional sales head was not the Poloynesian Cultural Center.