Oh, sweet mother of… the Hawaii Chair?
“Anyone who has been to or seen anything on Hawaii has come across this unique dance form. The traditional Polynesian Hula dance encourages the combination of cardiovascular exercises with small, controlled movements throughout the buttocks and abdominal region, promoting weight loss and increased abdominal muscle tone.The Hawaii chair will bring the hula dance into your office, and home… That’s right, you get all the benefits without all the hassle. No traveling to expensive classes. No wasting precious time, it’s all in your home and office. Get all the benefits and none of the fuss.”
Huh. And here I thought the hula was an ancient, spiritual performance in which the culture and history of a dwindling indigenous population is preserved and fiercely protected by practitioners that are revered and respected. Turns out it’s just an “exercise” that’s still too much work for lazy people.
There are so many things wrong with this, I don’t even know where to begin. Forget the Dodge Kahuna thing. And Celebrity Cruises, for that matter. This has got “firestorm of controversy” written all over it. And no doubt the manufacturer will love every minute of it.
But I guess after the rodeo-inspired iGallop, it was only a matter of time. And yes, just as there was for the iGallop, there’s also a horrifying video to demonstrate how the “Hula Chair” works on the HawaiiChair.com website. Watch it… if you dare.
UPDATE: Apparently there’s a full-length infomercial for this thing. See a short clip here.