Author: Ryan Ozawa

DCS Case #12621

DCS Case #12621

Yet another entry in the Annals of Dumb Customer Service, this one from United Airlines. My request? “What is my Mileage Plus account number?” Their response? “Thank you for contacting us. To obtain your Mileage Plus account number, please contact our Mileage Plus Service Center… You may email them from...

Goo in the News

Goo in the News

The smelly, algae-filled “reflecting pools” at the Hawaii State Capitol have been a longtime source of frustrated and disgusted commentary, but now the disgusting wet mess has hit the big time. Tomorrow’s New York Times features an article titled, In a Sparkling State, Goo Fills the Symbolic Pools: Hawaii’s 35-year-old...

Yipes

Yipes

A whole lot of wacky stuff went down in our neighborhood yesterday. Carjackings, gunfire, injured feet. I mean, our apartment is smack dab in the middle of the Honolulu Advertiser‘s helpful infographic map of the fiasco. We have been thinking of moving in with my mom in Mililani…

Queen of the Road

Queen of the Road

One of my family’s most cherished documents is a 1962 article in the Honolulu Advertiser profiling my grandmother. While it just happened to be written during the brief period she was married to her second and long-forgotten husband (thus the last name Burkhart), and has that 1960s “gee-whiz a working...

Obituary

Obituary

From the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, May 17, 2004: “Irene Caitano Henderson – May 13, 2004 – Irene Caitano Henderson, 86, of Mililani, an Ilani’s Express Service owner in Kohala, Hawaii, died in St. Francis-West Hospice. She was born in Kohala, Hawaii. She is survived by sons Albert and Jack Kayatani; daughter Myra Ozawa;...

Board Stories

Board Stories

Seeing as how, you know, I figured I wasn’t neglecting enough websites already, I’ve blown a good chunk of the last couple of weeks building another one. It’s one of those fancy message boards, which I was actually planning before this FAQ site got prematurely launched… meaning I’ve gotten to...

Face Off

Face Off

Nifty! Facial pattern matching software plus a database of celebrity faces equals “who you look like… if the person looking at you is very drunk and very lonely.” Jen found the site, and sent ’em both of our pictures. She looks like Uma Thurman, Bjork, and Daryl Hannah. (She’s heard...

Sent Letter

Sent Letter

Dear Governor Lingle: I know you are an advocate of the public charter school system, and I hope my fellow charter school parents and I can count on you to make sure it gets the support it needs this Legislative session.

Easy Go

Easy Go

Good News: I got $80 from my stepbrother Eathan. See, I’m such a poor businessman, I never keep track of what my “clients” owe me. While this means I usually end up doing most of the work for free, it also means the occasional payment is a pleasant surprise. Bad...

Euphemisms

Euphemisms

Good news: Sex is good for you. And one imagines being “master of your domain” is included in the definition of “sex” for the purposes of this study. Bad news: Apparently lacking anything more worthwhile to do (like, say, protecting us from terrorists), John Ashcroft is declaring another war, this...

Oh My Ears

Oh My Ears

Further evidence that it’s better for everyone that I gave up my MP3 addiction? Two songs that ended up on my hard drive tonight: “Bailamos” by William Hung, and a cover of Christine Aguilera’s “Dirrty” by none other than Hanson. I enjoyed both far more than anyone really should have.

If Only

If Only

Good News: Google, the super bestest whatchamacalit ever, has announced that it’s introducing a free web-based e-mail service, with neat features, 1GB of storage, and basically all kinds of stuff to make Hotmail and Yahoo! Mail nervous. Bad News: The launch date is April 1. We shall see… We shall...

Wall of News

Wall of News

If you’re a news junkie, you’ve just gotta see this. It takes the already impressive news aggregation power of Google News, and presents it as a “treemap” — basically a visual representation of the top stories. The bigger the story, the bigger the space. What’s especially cool is comparing the newsmap...

Yow!

Yow!

When you’re trying to get a project going, having it mentioned in the local paper is usually a good thing. As long as that project is actually running. Thanks go to Honolulu Adveriser tech columnist Burt Lum for plugging HawaiiAnswers.com in today’s column. And he deserves much of the credit:...

Unshoppable

Unshoppable

Weird. Thanks to some partnership between Alexa and Amazon.com, this website has an ASIN, or an Amazon.com product number. Wanna write a review for B0000DK1XM? There are also listings for HawaiiStories (B0001CYQWU), HawaiiNews.com (B0000A3AHL), and Diarist.net (B00006BGKI). It’s been a while since I’ve played with Alexa. I used to check...

Fuzzy

Fuzzy

Huh. Look what I found behind my desk. The MakikiCam hasn’t been hooked up for a couple of years, at least. Check it out while it lasts… by the looks of it, the webcam is on its last legs. You know, I guess I should be thankful this thing hasn’t...

Laughable?

Laughable?

There’s nothing sadder than an unfunny clown. I’m sure those comically-staged Oval Office photos are going over real well with the families of the 591 killed and 3,383 wounded while on his wild goose chase.

And So’s My Wife

And So’s My Wife

On the heels of the glorious news that it took a bunch of zombies to push that Jesus guy off the cinematic throne comes word that another blasphemous film will be returning to the big screen. Smartly capitalizing on Mel’s surprisingly profitable gorefest, Monty Python’s “Life of Brian” is being...

Escape to L.A.

Escape to L.A.

And just like that, I’ll be flying a redeye to Los Angeles tomorrow night in order to meet with some folks here. I hope I can contribute in some small way, and do something to preserve a heritage I barely deserve. It’ll be a 5 a.m. arrival, an 8 a.m....